if our moral values are at opposite ends of each other, can i still be a loyal friend?

if i've to be so careful with what i say or do in front of you, how am i supposed to be a true friend?

you know very well there's something wrong with your values and principles. and yet you choose to ignore them. to go with the flow of life. if you don't change, this evil cycle will just repeat itself again and again and again. till the point where you get so tired of rejections and heartaches that you give up caring for others altogether. and where there's no more love and care in your life, you're left with nothing but despite and bitterness.

maybe this is the way you handle problems that life throws at you. maybe this is temporary. maybe you just don't care.

someone who used to be so close, has turned into a total stranger in a span of few weeks.

we've all changed.

doggie tales

part1

part2

this is so so sad!! gretel is so loyal to her owner. even when she can't see, she still wants to protect her owner. dogs are truly men's best friend!

rest in peace, gretel.

T________________T

我的心情

有时候
莫名的心情不好
不想和任何人说话
只想一个人静静地发呆

有时候
突然觉得心情烦躁
看什么都觉得不舒服
拼命想寻找一个出口


credits: facebook

归零

之前被一些事情搞到很烦
发现自己越来越不像自己了
妥协  再妥协
都无法变回原来的模样
我的心像被掏空了一样
人不像人  鬼不像鬼

每当想回以前的一点一滴
眼泪就流个不停
在夜深人静的时候
滴答滴答  枕头淋湿了
一味地只想恢复原状
一味地不想放手
心里明明清楚  可能已经太迟了

现在开始接受现实了
朋友  也许是最好的选择
把以前的回忆   深深埋在心底
当时的快乐  想念
会永远陪伴着我

上天一定会为我们着想
他做的任何事情  一定是为了我
我选择把一切都交托他的手
更美好的明天  在等着我

给他
谢谢你给我的快乐和溺爱
如果一切是命中注定
我们  必定会走回一起 :)

这样的自己

有些东西  很想守护

所以双手会不自觉地越抓越紧

抓得它没办法呼吸

松开手一看

它已不再

把它逼得太紧

到头来  从指缝间溜走了

我  是不是很可笑

trapped

been feeling kinda trapped these days. trapped in a game that i no longer wish to continue. but there's no way to escape. everything is starting to pile up. as i stand still and ponder my next step, i'm flooded with the expectations and hope of others for me to do well and succeed.

i'm tired. i'm sick of all of this. but where should i go? who should i tell?

the only way is to continue headstrong and pray that god leads me through.

expectation creeps in and i'm left picking up the pieces. my world is falling apart. i don't know what to do. neither do you. it used to be so easy and happy. as time passes by, it's getting harder to be happy with each other. mainly because of me.

i do not know myself anymore.

who are you?

a friend

ever been in a situation where you felt that you could do something more for a friend? other than what you've been doing all along, i mean. not the usual lend a helping hand kinda thing. more like talking or spending time with them, trying to understand what they're going through at that stage in their life etc.

i wish i had.

it's a shocker when i chat with him just now. he quit the band. he says he's no longer coming back. and it hit me. the guilt of not spending more time with him because of the thought 'oh there's still next time'. that we could still hangout when life is less crazy and stressful. and also, sadness that we might never/hardly see each other again.

he said he has bigger plans for God. i don't know what it is. but i believe he'll serve Him truly and faithfully as always. i pray that He'll watch over and guide him. help him to be inspirational to others just as he inspired me to serve the Lord with a bigger heart. and i pray, that we'll meet again.

take care, brother.

for the 1st time, i can blame bad luck.
for the 2nd time, i have no one else to blame but myself.

please wake up! how much more time and money do you wanna spend on this? everything comes with effort. so just buckle up already!

why does it has to be this way?

it really is. and i'm aching all over.

文字是没有温度的 没有感情的
是把话说出口的人给了它们能够伤人的权利
也给了它们能够振奋人心的快乐
这是多大的力量

但我们往往会忘记自己有这样的本事
说话刻薄伤人
转个头就忘了
不当成一回事

也许是说者无心
但听了的人 伤得多痛 他怎么会知道

what are we

'2 guys poured combustible liquid on a dog and set it on fire while another person was taking video of it.' saw this video a friend linked. it's so scary. the dog was crying for help. while they were pouring the liquid, it was rubbing itself against the floor and avoiding the guys at the same time.

and after awhile 1 guy just set the dog on fire. just like that. no hesitation or whatsoever. it's just like he was burning a piece of trash. the dog cried out of pain and no one came to its aid. the guys were just looking at it burn. looking at their 'masterpiece'. my heart ached.

is it that easy to set another living thing on fire? to watch it suffer and cry for help and know that it was you who caused it so much pain. how could humans be so cruel? god did not create us to RULE over the other animals. he created us to TAKE CARE of them. we were supposed to live together in peace and harmony. not taking them as our toy or entertainment when life gets dull. are we humans so great? what rights do we have to cause others such pain? a person with a wee bit of conscience and heart would know better than to harm those who are weaker. what more an animal so small and defenseless as a dog.

i'm starting to feel afraid of my own kind. men.

还记得吗

小手拉大手   我们的歌
今天偶然地听到这首歌   感觉上好像是过了好久的事

舞步已经不记得了
歌词也是零零落落地
只记得那个时候的我们  练习得半死
上台前   紧张得半死
下台后   开心得半死

就是这样  一首歌
让我   偶尔想念以前的自己
以前的你们
以前的我们

原来成长是这样的

in peace

i saw this old man while taking the lrt today. somehow he reminds me of my grandfather who passed away last year. i sorta got teary eyed while looking at him. i remembered the times i had with my grandpa.

him sneaking me into his room to give me extra money for school.

him buying my favourite 'paper-wrapped chicken'.

him telling us stories of his younger days.

him listening to the hakka radio channel that i don't understand a word of.

him after the heart surgery.

him giving up smoking.

his smiley face when we go visit.

his funeral.

i wasn't there when he was admitted into the hospital. he didn't get to see him until his last breath. i'll always feel a pang of guilt when i think of that. learn to appreciate what you have. it might be too late later.

miss you, grandpa.

say ...

exactly. oh crap. the day i've been "waiting for" is finally here. months and months of practice will either pay off or go to waste. friday. 2.45pm. hilton hotel. grade 8 practical exam.

die die die die die.

ever been in a situation where you feel that you can do something better than what you've done? that's how i feel now. all the i-should-have-s are running in my head. should have practice like a mad woman for the past year. should have listen to mr lam's advice. should have a deeper understanding of classical music. should have listen to more music.

all that are too late now. i know. can only pray and pray and pray and pray that my fingers don't fail me.

far away but near at heart

welcome back baba etha!! :D

met up with the girls for a short reunion since etha is only visiting for 3 days. why lar only 3 days?! she has 2 months break and we only got 3 days. the rest she's spending it in indo. apparently she's just gonna rot at home. may as well spend it with us right. self-interest.

the 1st thing she said to me - "you've not change much." it was much of a relief i guess. when it's coming for someone i've not met for the past 2 years, it's probably the truth. happy that i'm still the same old kylie. whom, though in the tough world of CAT, still remains sane. :D

it's always nice to meet up with old friends. no matter how far away or how long we meet up once, we'd still be able to laugh and talk like the good old days. but somehow i always feel sad after that. the feeling that i've lost some connection with them. it's like we're all headed into different directions but not heading towards it together. i miss the times where we had the same aim. be it passing the exams together or fooling the teachers. there's always that something that connects us together. but now, there's only memories left. memories of what used to be.

i guess this is life. you gain and you lose. it's only fair this way.

losing me

there's so many things i want to say
so many stuff that happened

and yet i couldn't find the words to describe them
they're stuck in my head
random thoughts floating around
i need to let them all out
but it's just stuck there

ever had this kinda feeling before?

i feel vulnerable to my surroundings
i feel stuck
i feel.....

i'm starting to not feel anything anymore

and it's scaring me




i need to find me

i need to find it back fast