just can't help 'em all

being a friend means i could count on you to pull me back to track when i go astray, or to slap me back into reality when i'm too blind to see it, metaphorically speaking. i mean, if you can't depend on a friend to go through the bad and the good with you, what do you need them for? having an enemy would be much simpler. at least it's out in the open that you can't stand each other. save up on the extra time and energy pretending to be BFFs.

if an honest opinion from a friend is too much for you to handle, i don't know what else i can offer. i'm just trying to be YOUR friend. just like what i wish you would do for me if i'm stuck in the crap you're going through right now. but no, that's not what you "want/need". so i'll just lay off and leave you be and appear like a genie in the bottle when you summon me. because that's exactly what you want.

enough said.

s-tressss!

been feeling kinda stressed out lately. too many deadlines to meet and to make things worse, they're all relatively near. thesis, 84 piano pieces to practice for a ballet school exam, yet another internal test to attempt, lotsa lotsa class notes to catch up on, materials to revise through before workshop in april. oh goshh! time is not on my side and i've no one but myself to blame for that. this lazy bum right here always leave things to the very last minute and i mean VERY last minute. a good lesson for me to change this self-inflicting-torture habit of mine. oh when will i ever learn?

pray for proper time management and also a peace of mind that i would walk away from all this feeling thankful for the experience. though all i could do now is rant rant rant and rant!


on a side note, quite a few boy bands are having their comebacks this month. my boys are so fineee! <3 my source of motivation and inspiration in times of so-stress-i-can-die moments. :p

i heard...

someone with your status and position shouldn't say things like that. i'm shocked to hear about it. once again, i was proven wrong that adults know better what to say and what not. don't go around spreading rumors about him. you don't know him. you don't have the right to judge. it may be rumors, it may be the truth. it doesn't matter. if it's the truth, you're in no power to judge him. if it's just rumors, you played a big part of spreading it. have you ever thought how he'd feel when he hears about this?

passing a remark like that without looking at the people you're closest with is just plain hypocritical. you should look at your own family members before commenting about him. as i think the said remark fits them perfectly rather than him. stop being a hypocrite and start living up to the expectations of people from a person of your status.

超不喜欢！

我不喜欢你
所以不管你做什么  我都看不顺眼
我知道这样对你不公平
但是  我真的真的很不喜欢你

因为不喜欢  你的所作所为  都会被放大来看
因为不喜欢  连说句话  都觉得别扭

我不知道会不会一直不喜欢下去
但现在的我真的没办法

你还是离我远远的吧

trapped

been feeling kinda trapped these days. trapped in a game that i no longer wish to continue. but there's no way to escape. everything is starting to pile up. as i stand still and ponder my next step, i'm flooded with the expectations and hope of others for me to do well and succeed.

i'm tired. i'm sick of all of this. but where should i go? who should i tell?

the only way is to continue headstrong and pray that god leads me through.

滚到上心口！

越想就越滚
人家拍照关你屁事啊
在外面泼‘公’骂街
好心啦uncle  一把年纪还酱好火
又不是拍你啦  发什么鬼火
你女朋友在厕所拖拖拉拉不要看到你是吗
就来迁怒于我们
真是够了！

这世界什么人都有
我看过最白痴  最无聊  最讨人厌的莫过于你啦
疯狗酱乱吠
闪一边去啦！


p/s：

他的女朋友应该是在viva home 的 lorenzo 上班
谁要是看到一个像冬瓜又矮又肥的男人  就是那无聊的uncle啦

there are 2 types of people in this world.

the ones who try their best to make things work and remain optimistic of the outcome.

and the ones who just plainly criticize and wait for others to come up with a solution.

i've just came to realize we're living in a world full of hypocrites.

气死我！

臭司机！烂司机！

赶着去投胎么

酱没耐心

好心啦！你以为你快得了多少  还不是一样被卡在那边

酱厉害叫你的车用飞的啦

费事你 HORNNNNNN 人 HORN 到手酸

天上有大把位给你飙  没人跟你争

心情不好就留在家啦！

不要出来乱发癫！！！！！！

天啊!

怎么会有酱的妈妈 偏心到出汁！
拜托顾一下你女儿的感受
弟弟读大学 姐姐要负责帮他选出哪些courses适合他
过分到！
更离谱的是 弟弟把这个当成是姐姐理说当然要做的
有没有搞错
真是够夸张！

当然这些都是听一个人的一面之词
可信度不是百分百
但是听了还真是让人火滚

stand on your own feet!

as friends, we can only do and say so much. if you don't wish to take any actions, what else can we do? truthful words are always the most hurtful ones. be thankful that we nag at you. if we don't, you're no better off than a stranger across the street. you may find us annoying and busybody for minding your business, but the truth is, we're worried for you. how many more retakes could you handle? i know once is enough. twice is the last straw. don't let it get to the 3rd time. by then, you'd wish you never took up this course in the 1st place. i may not be the best person to give all this advice seeing that i've had my own share of failures. i'm still learning from my mistakes. and you should too. be responsible for your own actions and promises. we can't possibly monitor your every move to make sure you're in the right path. no one can do that for you but yourself. don't crack your head finding stupid excuses for yourself to skip classes. it'd only snowball into a bigger problem. if you aren't even disciplined enough to attend classes that's already PAID for, i don't see any way you'd be disciplined enough to study on your own. no point wasting your parents hard earned money by skipping classes. what's the point? just so your parents could 'assume' that you're being a goody kid attending all classes and trying your very best to pass the papers? who are you trying to fool? you didn't even try to attempt the test for goodness sake!

grow up! it's about time you should.

feeling green

i wanna have fridays off.
i wanna sleep through the morning.
i wanna not worry about failing the same paper. twice.


my scarifice must be worth it.
i'm gonna MUST get rid of you, law!
grrrrr!

文字是没有温度的 没有感情的
是把话说出口的人给了它们能够伤人的权利
也给了它们能够振奋人心的快乐
这是多大的力量

但我们往往会忘记自己有这样的本事
说话刻薄伤人
转个头就忘了
不当成一回事

也许是说者无心
但听了的人 伤得多痛 他怎么会知道

get off

i'm so freaking pissed! stop making your own assumptions and blame it on others. i did not VOLUNTEER to do all those things. so this is what you think about me. so cheap and lowly that i'll willingly do it. this proves that you don't understand me at all. how could you make her barge into the place and say that 'this is none of your business.' what is this?! i can't decide for myself what is my business and what's not? i can't decide when i want to help others? that 4 words of yours is so hurtful. none of my business.

i thought you knew me well. i guess i thought wrong.

what are we

'2 guys poured combustible liquid on a dog and set it on fire while another person was taking video of it.' saw this video a friend linked. it's so scary. the dog was crying for help. while they were pouring the liquid, it was rubbing itself against the floor and avoiding the guys at the same time.

and after awhile 1 guy just set the dog on fire. just like that. no hesitation or whatsoever. it's just like he was burning a piece of trash. the dog cried out of pain and no one came to its aid. the guys were just looking at it burn. looking at their 'masterpiece'. my heart ached.

is it that easy to set another living thing on fire? to watch it suffer and cry for help and know that it was you who caused it so much pain. how could humans be so cruel? god did not create us to RULE over the other animals. he created us to TAKE CARE of them. we were supposed to live together in peace and harmony. not taking them as our toy or entertainment when life gets dull. are we humans so great? what rights do we have to cause others such pain? a person with a wee bit of conscience and heart would know better than to harm those who are weaker. what more an animal so small and defenseless as a dog.

i'm starting to feel afraid of my own kind. men.

我受不了了

拜托你振作起来行不行

常常口不对心

想必你的理智知道应该怎么做

但心却是另一回事

这是借口吗

痛的不止你一个

别把自己想成受害者

她比你更痛

是谁被家人压迫

是谁心里还有爱却要狠下心说分手

你或许会觉得事情不是发生在我的身上

我根本没资格说这些说的容易做得难的大道理

但是身为一个朋友 我只能为你指向对的方向

因为我知道现在的你 什么都看不到 什么都分不清

所以拜托你别再挽留 别再堕落

事已定局 没什么好怨的 至少曾爱过

潇洒的站回起来吧 朋友

shame on you

okay, those that read my status on facebook *the shameless guy on lrt one*, this is how the story goes.

i was in a pretty good mood at 1st seeing that i've just finished my pt2 and had babi for lunch. then while on the way back, in the lrt, this man sat at my opposite diagonal right side. everything was alright at 1st. the train was dashing by pass all the sceneries and buildings and suddenly i hear *crack crack*. that man was eating peanuts. that was fine by me. i thought he was hungry or something. UNTIL i saw him quietly slipping the peanut, whatever that was left of it, behind his chair. i couldn't believe what he was doing and wanted to confront him about it. but to make sure i wasn't jumping into conclusions, i decided to give him a chance. to see what he'll do when he reaches his stop.

in the meantime, i was like staring at him. he knew perfectly well of it but he wouldn't dare meet my eyes. i mean, hello, there were only 2 of us and you wouldn't notice that girl right in front of you were staring at you accusingly?! obviously not right. and so i think he wasn't that all too scared cuz i look young and all. bully kids. hmph. so i waited and see what if someone came and sat beside me. that person would have a clear view of what that shameless man was doing. and someone did came. but he left after 1 stop. ugh.

then a malay lady sat a seat away from him. not sure she knows what he was doing. i was STILL staring. and then when we reached pasar seni station, he stood up, sheepishly glance at me and the malay lady, who finally saw the peanut remaining on the chair, and LEFT THE FREAKING TRAIN!!!! as if NOTHING happened and the peanut remaining were just there miraculously. HOW SHAMELESS CAN THIS MAN GET?! omgggggg. i was like 'WHAT ON EARTH?!' too shocked to even shout at that man and the door closed behind him.

i regretted for not trusting my own judgement that the man was as lousy that i thought he was. but the thing that i regretted the most was that i didn't look him in the eye and say 'PLEASE PICK UP YOUR TRASH AND LEAVE!! EVEN A 5 YEAR OLD KNOWS BETTER.'

have a little respect for others. things like these goes a long way. stop acting like an animal if you still have a little bit sense of conscience.

p/s: after really typing it all out, i feel kinda funny that i would get pissed by an act of a total stranger. a shameless one at that too. ugh.

p/s 2: to those that thought i saw a flasher in the lrt, sorry to disappoint you. :p

pass on the heat

the weather these days are crazy. it's so freaking hot!! ish. while walking to tsun jin to meet my brother yesterday i was scorched by the blazing sun. sweating like mad while waiting for my mum to pick us up. it was only 10 minutes or so but i was fidgeting by the roadside like a child about to pee. now i know how it feels like to be on the sizzling frying pan. mum says it's the 'chinese new year weather'. somehow it's always super hot as we countdown to the angpau season. we have like another 2 more weeks to cny. how long more can i stand this heat?! i guess my everyday life in the air cond theater/room has caused a huge drop on my heat tolerance level. aircond is a great invention on a hot sunny day. but i'll feel guilty of using it as the chemicals/gases emitted from it contributes to the heat. oh goodness, i need RAIN!! a little precipitation from god in days like these would be a huge blessing to all of us.

catch-up if you can

i wanted to post my pending-for-so-long thailand post first but i don't seem to have the mood to complete it, yet. i don't have the pictures from thailand and apparently a friend of mine said i have too many words in my posts. hence, no pictures = pending post till undue future. if that's a good excuse. but i promise you, it'll come. don't roll your eyes at me, I WILL POST IT!! :P

so it's already the end of january 2010. well, almost. the major happenings of the month :

- my friend is now officially dating my other friend. weird but we all saw that coming, didn't we? wish you guys happiness in the many years to come. just don't make me choose sides when you 2 are on the brink of war. i might just kill both of you.

- i'm gonna miss the myf retreat. not that i don't wanna go, i just can't! had to go back malacca to clean our apartment. mum's orders. dang. it's a really good chance for me to get to know more about the myf-ers. i'm closer with the younger ones but i guess it's time i mix with the older ones as well. someone kidnap me to the retreat pleaseeeeeee.

- i'm undergoing a super HUGE project with someone.can't say much about it so yeah. let's work hard on it together. determination!!

- just started ACCA for a few weeks and i'm starting to hate it already. oh goodness.

- the new car is here!! sold off our kenari for toyota vios. the car was just delivered today. i guess i'm not gonna drive much for now. new car = new toy. parents gonna be super protective over it. me driving = reckless driver = probability of accidents increase up a few notch = definite no no. oh well, it's nice to have people driving me around.

- results are coming out in FEBRUARY!! omggggg. you think taking the exam is stressful. checking your results is wayyyyy more stressful than the exam itself. no joke.

- there were some changes. and more changes to come. there's only 1 thing i have to say, you need to grow up and stop blaming people around you. enough said.

p/s: this is my 2nd post for 2010. slacking much.

EDITED;

- has anyone watched avatar? it's the bomb!! like seriously. those who haven't should just book the tickets right now. go for the 3D version. it's worth every penny. definitely the most outstanding movie of the year. the work crew on avatar set such a high benchmark for the rest, it's gonna be a stressful year for the movie industry. well, competition is good. at least we have high standard movies to look forward to in the near future.

half done

2 done.

-T6 Financial Statements

-T7 Costing, Management

2 more.

-T8 AUDITTTTTT *omgimsodead*

-T9 Tax

the last 2 days were totally wasted. i was too excited about completing 2 papers that i sorta forgot how tough the next ones are gonna be. shoooooooot. all but myself to be blame. i'm such a hopeless soul.

my motivation to get through it all:

♥ CHRISTMAS!!

♥ pasar malam

♥ makan session

♥ thailand trip

♥ drama-frenzy

hang in there people.

cabut-ed again

last wednesday i went to the dentist again to extract the 2 remaining teeth. somehow the process was not as what i remembered. the anaesthetic jab sting a lil more this time. just glad that i'm done with the extraction part. next up is the binding of braces. in 2 weeks time. *gulps*

the doctor put in 8 rubber band kinda thing in on the same day. just before the extraction. 4 for each side. up and down. it's supposed to help create some gap in between my teeth for the braces. but it's very uncomfortable. when the the gap is big enough the rubber will fall off.

i can't eat hard stuff. it'll only push the rubber into my gums even more. which will then cause more pain. sobs. being the crybaby i am, i'm stuck with what people call baby food. soft and easy to be swallowed.

porridge, mushroom soup and mash potato were my lunch and dinner for the past few days. i even made my own mash potato out of scratch. much cheaper then bought. RM2+ worth of potatoes can be my meal for the whole day. quite easy actually. so don't be too shocked to find out i can actually cook. :P

i miss eating rice and noodles and sweet sour pork and french fries and.... it's endless.